The thing is, I know myself through and through. I know how my mind works and the things I will do that I can't control. I know that when I do certain things I'm going bad again and I know what to do to fix it.
For example, I know that I now text you a lot but suddenly it will stop because I will have realized I'm better off without you and you won't have heard me for weeks when one day you will receive a text that says that I miss you. And if you answer that text everything will start again but if you don't I can keep moving on.
And I know that since this week I have to watch out because I'm going really bad again.. I know that because I can't sleep at night and because I sleep during the day and because all I do is stare at the wall and think.
And I know that I now say I don't believe in love and that I don't want it anymore but when I'm over you I will search for it again.
And I know that years from now I will still think about you from time to time and some days I will still have the urge to text you to maybe meet sometime.
And these are just a couple of things I know that are going on right now, things I know I can't stop in this moment but I will just have to go through and wait till they are over.
I know myself and I can tell you what will happen before it even started. And I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad because it's not because I know it will happen that I can stop it.. I can only watch myself do the things I know I shouldn't do and hope for the best..
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