so I guess when you feel one thing, you keep feeling until you don't feel anymore. what always comes after feeling a million feelings at once, is feeling nothing at all. you're so tired of feeling like shit, you shut down, feel nothing.
days, weeks, months go by where you laugh, and smile, and cry, and get mad, but are you really feeling anything on the inside?
just yesterday, I was on the top of the world. I hung out with the guy I like, and that made me so happy, considering I was in a shitty relationship previously. but now that the reality of yesterday has gone by, I won't be 'alive' for many days to come. no grasp of what's real, feeling isolated, feeling on your own, against everything all at once. you'd rather feel nothing at all than feel shitty for one more day. and idk, I'm pretty close to feeling nothing forever, if you get what I'm saying. I'd be happier that way, no more control of what's real or not, if I'm lonely, isolated, I'd be free from every little thing that bothered me. it's possible, you've just gotta go.
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