I washed my hair for the first time in 2 weeks mauve. I shower every day, but I'm just exhausted. Brushing my teeth is exhausting. Getting out of bed to go to work is exhausting.
This, is the face of sure i post videos of me being funny, or my pictures of Plenty of funny.
The holidays are the worst time of year. I lost my grandma on thanksgiving, my mom pulled her psycho "youre a worthless piece of shit, kill yourself" on Christmas, then another event with someone i thought i loved also ruined the first Christmas i tried to celebrate in 10 years, by drunkenly calling me names, such as "whore".
Mostly though i miss my best friend. It's just not the same and i feel so heavy. I try to get through the day without being upset, but sometimes i can't help it.
I've cut back on 3 of my 5 meds, i want to try to not over medicate for something that they just weren't fixing.
I know I'll be better once the holidays are over, i just hate feeling like I'm drowning and i can't swim to the surface.
It's okay, I've got this