I have gone back and forth on if I should post this for a month because I try to keep my personal struggles and triumphs close to vest and off social media. In the end, I feel like to de-stigmatize the shame that goes with body change, weight gain and body image I have to break my silence and stop hiding from the camera. It may be noticeable to you, it may not be but after a car accident I was in Jan 2016 I started to put on weight, enough weight that I'm edging on #plussized.
I don't feel comfortable in this body, it doesn't feel like my own but I want to change that...I want to change that not by losing weight or getting right for bikini season. I know in my heart that the reason my body has changed was because the accident forced me to slow down and what I was doing to sustain a "normal" body was extreme. No one would necessarily know because I was never overly thin, never unhealthy looking but for years I've been struggling with disordered eating and exercise. My life revolved around what I could and couldn't eat, whatever new diet I was on or off and I was pushing my body to limits it couldn't sustain + regularly causing it injury. For the last 6 months I've been trying to be intuitive in my eating, move in ways that feel good and do things that make me happy. It hasn't helped me shed any of the weight and I still feel like I'm lugging around bricks while I exercise so I can't say I have an answer but I am ready to end the shame around this change and come out with it to move towards healing and health - let go of wondering if people are asking silently what happened to her as I have been so guilty of with others. I hope that by coming forward and saying this someone relates and feels less alone in this journey as other body positive people have for me. #effyourbeautystandards #honormycurves #celebratemysize #daretowear #thisismybikinibody #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bodyposi #liveyourtruth #intuitiveeating #kindmovement #innerlight #YES #selflovebootcamp #selfloveclub #thiccwitit #dgaf #mysizeisbeautiful