You never really thought you’d make it this far, but you seem to be doing okay.
At 15, you told yourself nothing will change and it will never get better - but you’re doing okay.
It came out of the blue but you realized that yeah, things are going alright, things have changed, and things have gotten better.
You start to wonder why you let all the little things of the past force you into such a negative mindset.
Why you let stupid, pointless things hurt you at 15,
And why you let people take advantage of you and your feelings at 16.
You wonder why you were so mad at yourself at 17 when you were unsure about your sexuality and who you were.
Why you thought about ending it all at 18 because you couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
You wonder why you were so scared to be who you really were at school due to fear of rejection from those close to you at 19.
But you’re okay.
Shittier things will happen to you than someone not liking you back or a bad grade on a final, your parents will get older and become more stressed, and you will become the rock.
The person who holds it together, you’ll be the light at the end of the tunnel.
Grown up, with life sorted out, running through a field of flowers.
You’re expected to be happy and have everything laid out in front of you of what you’re going to do and what your future will look like.
But you see, nothings like that.
Life isn’t all sunshine and flowers and rainbows.
You’re still confused, unsure, carrying the weight of your past on your shoulders, lost, and yeah - you do still cry about little things that won’t even matter in 10 years.
But for the first time in long time. You’re okay.
You’re doing okay. Keep going it gets better.
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