Nutty Nut: tell me that’s a joke?!
Me: Stares hard into her eyes “nope, it’s for me”. Looks at phone while she mumbles stupid crap about pregnancy tests & jokes. I look back up, stare hard into her eyes again. “They’re actually, ovulation tests”. And back down to phone whilst face gets hot & I burn with anger.
Nutty Nut: mumbles crap. Endlessly.
Me: ignores & does not make eye contact, even a little bit.
Nutty Nut: *long pause* Well that’s an insert foot in mouth. ((spanked))
Me: fumbles thru phone, never looking up still.
Ya, I let there be outrageous awkwardness. I let her feel the burn. 100% against my nature. And I hated every.single.second. Zero pleasure in letting someone feel bad. Even the bad they created! I don’t go out of my way to put people in their places! I took one for the greater good, guys. Bet she’ll never do this again!
Um cat’s out. I’m the crazy, old lady (38) wanting one more kid. The gal with an insane 2y old that drains me of life, yet I cannot shake the “one more” kid. Our family just does not feel complete if I say we’re through. No matter how much I do want to be through and do all my old lady thangs! Jesus actually, told me I would have another baby whilst in the newborn throws of horrendous colic with my youngest. I was like “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Surely, my hormones be crazay”. And then a random lady came up to me a month later, like she literally, walked in off the street and said she sees me pregnant. I was like, ok Jesus. Heard dat. Lemme just get this extra 25lb baby weight off before I throw it back on. Mkay! And can my baby sleep thru the night before I enter another realm of sleeplessness?!? It’s been over a year of “trying”. And nothing. I’ve asked for forgiveness if I’ve missed my window. I dunno. It’s all in His hands. I just move forward each day & let the Holy Spirit guide me. And yes, I do believe He may have very well guided me to get 10 Ovulation Tests bc He knew Nutty McNut would run her mouth. And it would spur me to publicly share my #infertilityStruggles.
I hate sharing my struggles🤗. Who knows? But now that it’s out, will you join me in prayer? #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityjourney #prayerworks