✋ I've never been bullied in my adult life. I mean I've been roasted sure but all in good fun. I've been my worst critic and even as my weight has fluctuated enormously over the last year, people around me have still shown lots of love and support and have complimented me even at my worst. Lately I see all these women on social media embracing their perfectly flawed bodies.. It's a whole movement. Flaunting their curves and stretch marks, the wavy parts, the jiggly spots. I look at all of them, I grin, and I stay in my own lane.. fully aware that I have not grown to a point where I'm even comfortable wearing a t-shirt in public yet. My fitness journey has always been deeply personal and admittedly, a big part of the reason for that is because I'm still flooded with insecurity.. a work in progress. ~
Tonight some dude slid into my messages unannounced. I don't know him so, I responded with a quick, cordial message..an acknowledgement of having received his msg, but not an invitation to pursue an in-depth conversation. Obviously he took the hint and went ahead and let me know that I'm a fat b*tch anyway.. as well as many other hurtful comments before I located the block button. Guess what? It stung. One message.. from one male .. that I don't even care about .. left me in a little puddle of tears and self pity for a moment. I found myself on MY own page deleting pictures that suddenly didn't seem flattering. Trying to hide myself .. and why? I'm sure you get the message by now... in a world where women have to fight to love themselves .. why on earth would you ever try to tear anyone down? I had a moment. A moment of hurt. A moment of tears. A moment where all of a sudden I fit in too well with all those women focused on trying to love themselves...... and then I remembered how far I've come. And how far I am going to go.
Last year, I lost 80 lbs naturally through hard work & exercise (Left). 6 months later, I developed tears to my ligaments and bone issues that I'm still battling and gained all of the weight back and then some! (middle). Now, I'm back to the battle.. 30 lbs down and working toward becoming more healthy every day❤ (continued -)