"When you tell me you love me, know that I’ve heard those words before come from lips that tasted of disloyalty and dishonesty. Know that my hesitation and difficulty to believe doesn’t mean that I don't necessarily believe you. No, it’s so much more than that. It's more than having been let down and having been so very wrong about another. When you hold me and tell me you love me, all I’ll be able to think is why. Why me? So, please be patient with me. See, there used to be a time where I was tender and soft. There was a time my heart and soul were pure. But I grew calloused by life's ways. There's a darkness within me and sometimes it visits me on cold, silent nights. There are nights where my dreams are filled with pain while I drown in my tears. There's no escape, no peace. Just me and that dark place.
Please know that I am everything you fell for and all the light you saw in me is there, but there are days I am too big of an eclipse for you to be able to find it. There will be days all I am is the broken pieces that haunt me, days where that light you love will have a hard time escaping through the cracks. See, I’ve handed out pieces of myself to those who did not deserve them. I have loved before, and I have loved hard, and all I have to show are scars. So please be patient with me if I flinch when you touch me with your hands and shower me in your words.
Please know that I don’t ever feel anything halfway. If you’re going to love me, you’re going to have to let me love you the only way I know how. See, I’ve always been, too much, for most. Too much passion, too much feeling, too much intensity, too many thoughts and too many words. I know no other way. If you let me love you and if you love me, I’ll show you a love that you've only ever read about in books and seen on the screen. If you let me, it'll be passionate and raw and exquisite love.
When you tell me you love me, I really hope you mean it."
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