Day 11: Celebrate Something [Else] You Usually Hide
tl;dr I usually try to hide my grey hair because I don’t want to be shunned because of my age.
Before I got my mohawk at the end of June, I wore my hair up in a knot always, and I combed the front carefully so the brown hairs were covering the grey hairs. Once in a while I let the grey streak (which you see the beginning of here) show, because it looked kinda cool as it got longer — almost to my waist. Also, female-pattern balding is getting bad.
The reason I don’t like the grey is that I don’t like people knowing how old I am, because I feel I’ve faced a LOT of ageism. It was really bad when I was on Tumblr, even though I would never post a photo of myself there (the fat trolls seemed a lot worse there than here). I was old enough to be the parent of a teenager, and it didn’t matter that I had almost nothing in common with those parents. Whenever I hear of a conflict between a parent and a teen, I’m almost always on the teen’s side. But I had to be careful of what I said so no one would figure out how old I actually was, and that takes a lot of work. How old was I when I first saw Star Wars? What was I doing when I learned that John Lennon had been murdered? How much did I remember and/or wear the fashions of the 80s? That’s what I’m really hiding, my age, because I’m afraid of being rejected because of it. Part of me wants to just announce how old I am, but even if people don’t reject me, they’ll treat me differently. Or many I’m not as young-looking as I think, and everyone’s guesses are pretty accurate. (Also, eye bags, ugh!)