📍India 2011 ||Let's start raising our children to have more self-compassion instead of more self-esteem. The two are surprisingly very different. Dr. Jennifer Crocker, a self -esteem researcher says its not having high self-esteem that is the problem, it's pursuing it, which is usually based on feeling special and above-average or better than others. The best way to think about the problem of self-esteem is not whether or not you have it, but what you do to get it. The other thing is, it's pretty common, at least in American society, that in order to have high self-esteem, you have to feel special and above-average. If someone said, "Oh, your performance was average," you would feel hurt by that, almost insulted.
When we fail, self-esteem deserts us, which is precisely when we need it most. And so the problem is we're constantly comparing ourselves to others. We try to puff ourselves up. We have what's called self-enhancement bias, where we see ourselves as better in almost any culturally valued trait. So why self compassion? Simple really. It's treating yourself with the same kind of kindness, care, and compassion, as you would treat those you care about—your good friends, your loved ones. Self-compassion adds the humanistic component.|| #thenomadicpsychotherapist