how do you deal with pain / stress?🥀
“When someone is stabbed, you’re told not to remove the knife. Once it’s removed, everything begins to fall apart. In less than ten minutes, someone could bleed out.
She still isn’t sure which of them stuck the blade in her stomach, but she refuses to pull it out. Instead, she embraces it. “Do you love me,” she asks, still not facing him, “or do you just hate the idea of losing me?”
It’s silent, and she does not know how to read this situation. If she turned around, she knows the emotion would be clear on his face because he has always been an open book. For her, he will always be an open book.
She doesn’t turn around, though, and she realizes that she doesn’t want to see his face—see the destruction that she’s caused.
He says her name then, and his voice is level; it twists the knife.
He says, “Why do you do this?”
He says, “I’m not losing you. You’re running away.”
And he says, “I love you—god knows that I love everything about you—but we’re falling apart. You’re tearing us apart.“ Finally, she turns around, and she’s not sure what she expected, but it surely was not this. He’s cold, blank, torn apart and carelessly sewn back together. He is covered in her—covered in her heartbreak.
"I need—” He clears his throat, hides any slip of emotion. “I need you to let me go because I don’t have the strength to do it myself.”
And at that moment, she realizes this is no longer a game. All this time she thought she was being selfish with her heart, but this boy — This boy makes her wish things were different; he makes her wish that she was different.
That’s why she sucks in a rattling breath, and that’s why she forces those selfless words past her lips. She swallows the pain and tries to cure the heartbreak when she says, “You should leave." He winces. He looks like he wants to take back his words. He looks like he wants to stay, and he looks like he wants to cross the room in three steps and pull her into his arms and stop her from slipping away like water between his fingers.
Looks, however, have always been deceiving.
He leaves, and he takes the knife with him.”