I read @lookingforabura
's blogpost the other day and abeer gave me the courage to talk about my own struggles these past couple of months...
This is me. This is the girl who smiles at flowers but, these days, is constantly on the verge of tears. This is the girl who wanders around in a daze, whose head feels fuzzy, whose eyes have lost their gleam. This is the girl who is lost and empty, who misses England with every inch of her body and soul. This is the girl who will go out of her way to make someone else happy so the weight on their shoulders is that little bit lighter. This is the girl who drinks in words and writes her own stories so she doesn't have to face up to her own. This is the girl whose heart pounds at a million miles an hour when she has to speak on the phone. This is the girl whose photography gives her a purpose, a reason to get out of bed in the morning. The girl who wants to save the world but is having trouble trying to keep herself afloat. .
I have never missed something so much in my entire life. Every day I wake up wishing that I was back in England and not in New Zealand or wishing that I could just go back to sleep. but I get out of bed and I keep going and if you're struggling right now then know that you're not alone. It has to get better, right? .
I know this post is very personal and it is the most open I have been on this account (I'm shaking right now) but I felt like i owed it to you guys to be honest and to face up to the fact that, actually, I'm not doing that well at the moment. You guys keep me going and I cannot thank you enough ❤️