This post will be more honest than anything on the web should be or has to be, but I need to get it off my chest.
Living with anxieties - no matter in which form - is really hard to deal with and if you "do it right", not too many people around you will notice.
Whilst functioning like a well oiled machine at work, it's the private life that has not enough power left to be kept on track as it should be.
Anxiety combined with insecurity makes things even worse. Every little conversation is a tough one - besides very very few people who I enjoy to talk/write to, because they help me and know the real me.
There's one person I really do like very much - or to say it clearer - that I would love to get to know more, but then after taking all my courage twice I don't have any courage left. Am I annoying her? Does she simply have no interest in me? I can't tell.
I just know, as long as I am the way I am, I have to get her off my mind. I can't expect anybody to be willing to deal with the way I am. This is a story in the making since new years.. I just wanted to let you know that it never was or could be your fault. It is mine. Just don't have the courage to start chatting for a third time. And though this can't be an excuse, at least you don't have to worry about yourself maybe being the problem or having made any mistake.
I want to let you know that every word I said at the start of this year was 100% real, and eight months later I just can say: sorry!
#eveningthoughts #deepestthoughts #sorry #distance #anxiety #insecurity #honesty #workinprogress #EveryTimeISeeYou #sandserif